Figs, Paths Taken/Not Taken, Etc.

From Sylvia Plath's The Bell Jar:

"I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was Ee Gee, the amazing editor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and another fig was Constantin and Socrates and Attila and a pack of other lovers with queer names and offbeat professions, and another fig was an Olympic lady crew champion, and beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn't quite make out. I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn't make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet." 

I've picked my fig. I've always picked my fig.  I've never let figs fall to the ground and rot at my feet.  I pick the figs as soon as they ripen.  I've never wasted any time.  I may be missing out on the other figs [ie: marriage, children = midwestern expectations].  I'm okay with that.  Sometimes I wish I had chosen another fig, like traveling Europe/Africa/South America.  But I know that I'm where I should be.  And I can't imagine doing anything else than what I am doing right now.  And I sure as hell can't imagine being married right now.  In fact, that scares the crap out of me.  I'm so thankful to be unattached, free to do whatever I want, whenever I want to, and in the best company I know - mine.  


And while some may argue that I only had one fig to pick from [Only getting in to OSU for Doc school] I didn't necessarily have to pursue this terminal degree at all.  I'm not exactly sure of the reason that I only had this one type of fig to choose from and I may never know.  But, I've met people who have made an impact on me and who I've had an impact on.  I've made some great friends who I know will be my friends for the rest of my life.  And maybe that is all that really matters in life.  The people you meet and the imprint you make on each other's lives. 


The fig is sweet.